Just a quick note this one to say that we now offer a Crazy Golf Hire service for corporate and private events nationwide, further details can be found by clicking, Crazy Golf Hire Services.
When I used to spend a bit more time visiting Europe, I gradually picked up a smattering of German, and a little Dutch. Now on examining these languages in became apparent that they contained a lot more structure than English seemed to, with the result that they appeared to be more precise.
At first I felt this was an unnecessary complication, but on a recent visit to the Eastern Counties I began to appreciate the logic behind it. We had a number of items at the event, but for various reasons, I ended up manning the ice cream cart. Now as the day wore on we ended up with only 2 flavours left, vanilla and pistachio. I thought that this limited choice would speed things up, but what seemed to happen was innumerable conversations along the following lines;
Customer "Hello, what flavours do you have left ?"
Me "Pistachio and vanilla"
Customer "Do you have any chocolate?"
Me "No only Pistachio and Vanilla"
Customer "What about Strawberry"
Me "No we only have PISTACHIO and VANILLA"
Customer "OK I will just take the mint "
Me through clenched teeth "The mint, sir, happens to be Pistachio, that is why when you asked what flavours we had left, I answered Pistachio and Vanilla, if in fact the Pistachio was indeed mint, I would have answered when asked ,Mint and Vanilla, but the fact that I informed you the available choice was Pistachio and Vanilla, should give you a clue to the fact that the green ice cream is in fact Pistachio and not mint!"
Customer "Oh I will just take Vanilla then"
I wonder what it is about the English that renders a simple explanation so bewildering to some sections of the country
We have been to busy lately for me to do much posting, our regular business is tickling along nicely, and the bar business is picking up work at a steady rate. The bar jobs at the minute don't seem to result in much profit, as everyone we do seems to require additional; equipment or extra bar sections, with the result that we now have 3 complete portable bars, numerous dispensers, cooling equipment, glasses etc. We have also just decided to add two multiple dispense units to our lineup, these allow 8 pints each to be poured at the same time, with a combined throughput of 3000 pints per hour, so are ideal for larger events and smaller festivals.
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At first I felt this was an unnecessary complication, but on a recent visit to the Eastern Counties I began to appreciate the logic behind it. We had a number of items at the event, but for various reasons, I ended up manning the ice cream cart. Now as the day wore on we ended up with only 2 flavours left, vanilla and pistachio. I thought that this limited choice would speed things up, but what seemed to happen was innumerable conversations along the following lines;
Customer "Hello, what flavours do you have left ?"
Me "Pistachio and vanilla"
Customer "Do you have any chocolate?"
Me "No only Pistachio and Vanilla"
Customer "What about Strawberry"
Me "No we only have PISTACHIO and VANILLA"
Customer "OK I will just take the mint "
Me through clenched teeth "The mint, sir, happens to be Pistachio, that is why when you asked what flavours we had left, I answered Pistachio and Vanilla, if in fact the Pistachio was indeed mint, I would have answered when asked ,Mint and Vanilla, but the fact that I informed you the available choice was Pistachio and Vanilla, should give you a clue to the fact that the green ice cream is in fact Pistachio and not mint!"
Customer "Oh I will just take Vanilla then"
I wonder what it is about the English that renders a simple explanation so bewildering to some sections of the country
We have been to busy lately for me to do much posting, our regular business is tickling along nicely, and the bar business is picking up work at a steady rate. The bar jobs at the minute don't seem to result in much profit, as everyone we do seems to require additional; equipment or extra bar sections, with the result that we now have 3 complete portable bars, numerous dispensers, cooling equipment, glasses etc. We have also just decided to add two multiple dispense units to our lineup, these allow 8 pints each to be poured at the same time, with a combined throughput of 3000 pints per hour, so are ideal for larger events and smaller festivals.
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When we first started and was operating on a limited budget, we frequently had problems with equipment failures and vehicle breakdowns. As we grew and ended up in a position to buy better equipment, and also put back up systems in place we found that things seemed to run a lot more smoothly.
However the law of averages caught up with us the other day, we had quite a busy schedule, calling at a small village in Surrey to apply 125 chair covers and sashes and set up a chocolate fountain, then on to Sevenoaks to set a number of stalls and a couple of catering carts up, back to the first venue to drop two members of staff off, then I continued on to Walton on Thames to operate a candy floss and popcorn cart. As soon as I finished I derigged everything and shot back to the first venue with the intention of picking my staff up to travel home to Yorkshire, grab a couple of hours sleep, load the van up with the rest of the equipment for the Sevenoaks job and set back off down South.
Everything was going great guns when a bang, signalled that I had a tyre blown out, 'great, just what I wanted on a lane in the middle of nowhere, a tyre change.' In time I ended up wishing I was changing a tyre, because when I crawled under the back of the van I discovered the spare wheel missing (it was a hire van). I rang the owner and ot him out of bed, "ring the AA he said, the van is covered", trouble is when I explained the problem they informed me that under their terms of service, not having a spare wheel meant that I wasn't covered. Rang John again, "Ring a tyre firm he said and bill me". An hour later after ringing every number I could find on the internet I rang John again. After an exchange of ideas, he informed me that he was setting off with a spare wheel, wonderful, the three of us only had to sit and wait in the van whilst John covered the 216 miles to us.
Now before John set off he had to nip up to our place and pick up the items I needed for the next day, this included a striker (test your strength machine). On our striker the base unit is made from 20mm steel plate to give it the weight needed to remain stationary whilst being hammered. The base unit is kept on a small set of wheel which allow it to be moved about the yard. When John and my other half lifted it into the van, John had not realised that the wheels were not part of the structure and left his fingers underneath when they dropped it into the back of the van. My wife rang me to tell me that John was running around the yard squealing about his fingers. She wasn't in the mood for sympathy and told him that if he went to the hospital they would only tape his fingers up, and she offered to lend him a roll of tape to ensure he got on his way quicker.
When he arrived at our end the first thing he did was show me his fingers, which by then were black and blue and quite swollen. Bloody well serves him right for removing the spare wheel.
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However the law of averages caught up with us the other day, we had quite a busy schedule, calling at a small village in Surrey to apply 125 chair covers and sashes and set up a chocolate fountain, then on to Sevenoaks to set a number of stalls and a couple of catering carts up, back to the first venue to drop two members of staff off, then I continued on to Walton on Thames to operate a candy floss and popcorn cart. As soon as I finished I derigged everything and shot back to the first venue with the intention of picking my staff up to travel home to Yorkshire, grab a couple of hours sleep, load the van up with the rest of the equipment for the Sevenoaks job and set back off down South.
Everything was going great guns when a bang, signalled that I had a tyre blown out, 'great, just what I wanted on a lane in the middle of nowhere, a tyre change.' In time I ended up wishing I was changing a tyre, because when I crawled under the back of the van I discovered the spare wheel missing (it was a hire van). I rang the owner and ot him out of bed, "ring the AA he said, the van is covered", trouble is when I explained the problem they informed me that under their terms of service, not having a spare wheel meant that I wasn't covered. Rang John again, "Ring a tyre firm he said and bill me". An hour later after ringing every number I could find on the internet I rang John again. After an exchange of ideas, he informed me that he was setting off with a spare wheel, wonderful, the three of us only had to sit and wait in the van whilst John covered the 216 miles to us.
Now before John set off he had to nip up to our place and pick up the items I needed for the next day, this included a striker (test your strength machine). On our striker the base unit is made from 20mm steel plate to give it the weight needed to remain stationary whilst being hammered. The base unit is kept on a small set of wheel which allow it to be moved about the yard. When John and my other half lifted it into the van, John had not realised that the wheels were not part of the structure and left his fingers underneath when they dropped it into the back of the van. My wife rang me to tell me that John was running around the yard squealing about his fingers. She wasn't in the mood for sympathy and told him that if he went to the hospital they would only tape his fingers up, and she offered to lend him a roll of tape to ensure he got on his way quicker.
When he arrived at our end the first thing he did was show me his fingers, which by then were black and blue and quite swollen. Bloody well serves him right for removing the spare wheel.
Yorkshire Mini Marquee Hire
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As part of our ongoing commitment to offer a complete service from event management through to catering, games, rides, bars and security we have just launched our latest venture. Details can be found at www.mini-marquee-hire.com
We have just ordered and are awaiting delivery of a range of marquee solutions including lighting, flooring, heating and interior drapes. The intention is to build it up into a standalone business over the next couple of years. It might happen organically, but I am looking at 2 or 3 established businesses that are for sale, and if any of them fit in with what we want then that might be the road we go down. The initial drive behind the marquee was the fact that we have negotiated deals to attend a number of music festivals, an equestrian event and possibly a Pride event with our mobile bars. Looking at these events we felt that we could do with a sheltered bar area for the guests. After talking to a number of marquee hire companies we realised that hiring a marquee for a dozen days or so was more expensive than purchasing one, and once the decision had been made to purchase, I immediately decided that I didn't want expensive kit only being used occasionally and so the new venture was born.
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We have just ordered and are awaiting delivery of a range of marquee solutions including lighting, flooring, heating and interior drapes. The intention is to build it up into a standalone business over the next couple of years. It might happen organically, but I am looking at 2 or 3 established businesses that are for sale, and if any of them fit in with what we want then that might be the road we go down. The initial drive behind the marquee was the fact that we have negotiated deals to attend a number of music festivals, an equestrian event and possibly a Pride event with our mobile bars. Looking at these events we felt that we could do with a sheltered bar area for the guests. After talking to a number of marquee hire companies we realised that hiring a marquee for a dozen days or so was more expensive than purchasing one, and once the decision had been made to purchase, I immediately decided that I didn't want expensive kit only being used occasionally and so the new venture was born.
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Over the next couple of months we will be launching a range of new services. The first of these is a tie up with another operator to launch a climbing wall hire service. The initial website is up and running, but to be truthful its still a little basic, however it will be expanded over the coming months. It can be found at www.climbing-wall-hire.com
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The Showmen's Guild of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has been in existence for over 100 years, and is the primary trade organisation of the professional funfair industry in the UK. One of their remits is to protect the interests of its members. Unfortunately my direct experience of late has been that not only does the organisation fall short in this remit, but it is actively engaged in working against members.
One of the many companies who offers funfair rides for hire, makes a big song and dance about how Guild Ruling (a subject to complicated to easily explain here) means that anyone engaging a member of the Showmen's Guild to provide rides or attractions at their corporate event, will find themselves unable to ever use anyone other than the member they first use to supply their attractions. I know from direct experience that this has led to some Guild members losing work when the companies they were supplying to became worried and cancelled their bookings. The information contained in this operators website was actually accurate, up until around 3 years ago when the rules were changed to specifically exempt corporate events from many of the rules and regulations that the Guild require their member to adhere to. Unfortunately the company hasn't taken any notice of this and still insists on spreading misinformation.
I decided to contact Central Office, based in Staines, which is the Guild's primary office with full time staff operating on behalf of the Guild. I explained the problem and asked for assistance only to be told that the Guild were not responsible for policing websites. I wonder how long an organisation such as Asda would allow websites to spread misinformation about them before they had there lawyers step in and put things right.
After exchanging numerous emails with Central Office staff, I decided to take things into my own hands, I contacted trading standards who agreed with my reasoning that companies cannot state facts which are wrong. They told me they would sort it out pretty quickly. Job done I thought and put it out of my mind.
The next day however trading standards rang me back to tell me they would not be taking the matter any further. Upon inquiring why I was informed that they had contacted Central Office, explained what I had told them and received the reply that Central Office had no idea what I was talking about and the rules were the same as they had always been! I had purchased the ammunition, loaded the gun, pointed it and all the Guild had to do was say fire, yet their take on looking after Guild members was to choose to allow this non Guild operator to continue stealing work away from its members with its campaign of disinformation. I was disappointed that they felt they could do nothing to help, I was absolutely disgusted that they actively worked against me when I had laid all of the ground work for them.
The most galling fact of this story, is the fact that the Guild is possibly one of the most expensive trade organisations to belong to, and quite possibly one of the most outdated and useless to boot. I do know that Guild officials when in London on Guild business usually have a good time out on the town, perhaps they might consider staying in one night and actually putting some policies into place for the benefit of the members. If they are not going to police websites on behalf of their members, then I think they will rapidly cease to be relevant organisation in a world that is rapidly moving towards an internet business model.
I was tempted to compare their usefulness to a chocolate fireguard, but a chocolate fireguard results in a puddle of molten chocolate which can be quite tasty, which is a damn site more use than a misinformed, obstructive and adversarial trade body that we seem to have. Whilst writing this I did have it in my mind that I could receive a rap over the knuckles, but then again, it isn't the Guilds job to police websites is it?
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One of the many companies who offers funfair rides for hire, makes a big song and dance about how Guild Ruling (a subject to complicated to easily explain here) means that anyone engaging a member of the Showmen's Guild to provide rides or attractions at their corporate event, will find themselves unable to ever use anyone other than the member they first use to supply their attractions. I know from direct experience that this has led to some Guild members losing work when the companies they were supplying to became worried and cancelled their bookings. The information contained in this operators website was actually accurate, up until around 3 years ago when the rules were changed to specifically exempt corporate events from many of the rules and regulations that the Guild require their member to adhere to. Unfortunately the company hasn't taken any notice of this and still insists on spreading misinformation.
I decided to contact Central Office, based in Staines, which is the Guild's primary office with full time staff operating on behalf of the Guild. I explained the problem and asked for assistance only to be told that the Guild were not responsible for policing websites. I wonder how long an organisation such as Asda would allow websites to spread misinformation about them before they had there lawyers step in and put things right.
After exchanging numerous emails with Central Office staff, I decided to take things into my own hands, I contacted trading standards who agreed with my reasoning that companies cannot state facts which are wrong. They told me they would sort it out pretty quickly. Job done I thought and put it out of my mind.
The next day however trading standards rang me back to tell me they would not be taking the matter any further. Upon inquiring why I was informed that they had contacted Central Office, explained what I had told them and received the reply that Central Office had no idea what I was talking about and the rules were the same as they had always been! I had purchased the ammunition, loaded the gun, pointed it and all the Guild had to do was say fire, yet their take on looking after Guild members was to choose to allow this non Guild operator to continue stealing work away from its members with its campaign of disinformation. I was disappointed that they felt they could do nothing to help, I was absolutely disgusted that they actively worked against me when I had laid all of the ground work for them.
The most galling fact of this story, is the fact that the Guild is possibly one of the most expensive trade organisations to belong to, and quite possibly one of the most outdated and useless to boot. I do know that Guild officials when in London on Guild business usually have a good time out on the town, perhaps they might consider staying in one night and actually putting some policies into place for the benefit of the members. If they are not going to police websites on behalf of their members, then I think they will rapidly cease to be relevant organisation in a world that is rapidly moving towards an internet business model.
I was tempted to compare their usefulness to a chocolate fireguard, but a chocolate fireguard results in a puddle of molten chocolate which can be quite tasty, which is a damn site more use than a misinformed, obstructive and adversarial trade body that we seem to have. Whilst writing this I did have it in my mind that I could receive a rap over the knuckles, but then again, it isn't the Guilds job to police websites is it?
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With the level of work we are now receiving it is getting harder to find time to write for my blog. However every now and them something happens which I have to write about, either out of sheer frustration, or just occasionally incredulity.
We recently supplied a ferris wheel to a major educational establishment. Now I labour under the misconception that anyone in charge of such establishments would tend to be a reasonably intelligent individual. An episode recently shattered this illusion. When erecting a ferris wheel, you fold the structure into place until you basically have 2 giant wheels about 6ft apart. You then add seats at the ends of the spokes to these wheels thereby completing the ride. At one of our latest events, the guy onsite, William, rang to tell me we had a problem. Upon inquiring as to what exactly was up, William told me that a delegation from the college had approached and informed him that they were not happy with the wheel as it was clearly unsafe. Now the ride in particular, like all of our attractions, undergoes a regular safety check, and is inspected annually by an independent engineer, so I know the ride had a clean bill of health.
"What exactly is the problem?", I inquired of William,
"Well", says he, "We have the ride erected, but have yet to fasten the seats into place, the gentleman in charge of the college has pointed out that the ride has no seats on it, and he cannot allow his students to cling on to the structure as it is in motion, as if they fall of near the top they could be killed!!!!!"
William politely pointed out the seats which were going to be added shortly and the gentleman was placated, I, meanwhile was rolling about laughing at the surreality of it all, surely no one in their right mind would ever think we were expecting people to cling to a structure that was 48ft high and be rotated at high speed.
A friend of mine, Tommy, had a word for people like this, "Educated Idiots" he called them.
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We recently supplied a ferris wheel to a major educational establishment. Now I labour under the misconception that anyone in charge of such establishments would tend to be a reasonably intelligent individual. An episode recently shattered this illusion. When erecting a ferris wheel, you fold the structure into place until you basically have 2 giant wheels about 6ft apart. You then add seats at the ends of the spokes to these wheels thereby completing the ride. At one of our latest events, the guy onsite, William, rang to tell me we had a problem. Upon inquiring as to what exactly was up, William told me that a delegation from the college had approached and informed him that they were not happy with the wheel as it was clearly unsafe. Now the ride in particular, like all of our attractions, undergoes a regular safety check, and is inspected annually by an independent engineer, so I know the ride had a clean bill of health.
"What exactly is the problem?", I inquired of William,
"Well", says he, "We have the ride erected, but have yet to fasten the seats into place, the gentleman in charge of the college has pointed out that the ride has no seats on it, and he cannot allow his students to cling on to the structure as it is in motion, as if they fall of near the top they could be killed!!!!!"
William politely pointed out the seats which were going to be added shortly and the gentleman was placated, I, meanwhile was rolling about laughing at the surreality of it all, surely no one in their right mind would ever think we were expecting people to cling to a structure that was 48ft high and be rotated at high speed.
A friend of mine, Tommy, had a word for people like this, "Educated Idiots" he called them.
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As I type this I am just about finishing for the day, tomorrow its finishing the load up and off to Tamworth for a Bar job. This job is a little smaller than our last event, but we are launching our new Shooters Bar at the event. We will be offering a range of Shots, Bombs and Shotails (like a cocktail, but built in a shot glass). We have also managed to squeeze almost the entire bar into our Citroen Dispatch, which surprsed me greatly, although to be truthful you would be hard pressed to fit an additional sheet of paper in, its packed like a jigsaw puzzle. The only things we couldn't fit in were the crates of sprits. I am sourcing a large roofbox to carry these last few items.
One thing which has surprised me is the attitude of a local brewery we contacted. We had originally intended to standardise on Carslberg as our main draught lager, and obviously use there other products as well. We had a visit from a rep who spent an hour telling me of what he was going to do for us, as he left he promised to not only email their price list and details to me, but to also send it in the post. Well that was the last we heard from him. A lady from the firm contacted me a few weeks after to aks if we were happy with their service, so I told her what I thought, to which she replied that she would forward the information to me. That was the last I heard from her!!
The upshot is that we are now using Carling products, and we are picking bar work up quicker than I expected. Admittedly we are still not using product regularly like a public house would, but surely in today's economic climate I would expect the brewery to be looking at cultivating sales to new outlets.
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One thing which has surprised me is the attitude of a local brewery we contacted. We had originally intended to standardise on Carslberg as our main draught lager, and obviously use there other products as well. We had a visit from a rep who spent an hour telling me of what he was going to do for us, as he left he promised to not only email their price list and details to me, but to also send it in the post. Well that was the last we heard from him. A lady from the firm contacted me a few weeks after to aks if we were happy with their service, so I told her what I thought, to which she replied that she would forward the information to me. That was the last I heard from her!!
The upshot is that we are now using Carling products, and we are picking bar work up quicker than I expected. Admittedly we are still not using product regularly like a public house would, but surely in today's economic climate I would expect the brewery to be looking at cultivating sales to new outlets.
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We rack up quite a few miles throughout the year, our Jaguar Estate car piling on nearly 70,000 in a little over 15 months. Upto now we have hired vans in, partly because we have an excellent deal with a local van hire company, and partly because we didn't want the rapidly depreciating drain on our books that any vehicle represents. However since our acquisition of Chocolate Experience, the chocolate fountain hire company, we have had a need for a smaller, lighter type van than those we have been hiring. Traipsing down to Norwich in a jumbo long wheelbase high roof transit averaging about 26 to the gallon wasn't really suitable when you had around half a dozen smallish boxes in the back. The van hire company has a single Transit Connect, but this tended to be out on long term hire all the time.
Anyway, we have just acquired a Citroen Dispatch specifically for these smaller jobs. Its a little larger than a Connect, but smaller than a transit, and has 3 seats which is an added bonus. We haven't had the van long enough to make a decision on how reliable it is, but on our first trip to London and back it averaged 39 miles to the gallon, which is only about 6 MPG behind our Jag, and well in front of the Transits we use. The Dispatch is identical to the Peugeot Expert and Fiat Scudo, the only difference being the Dispatch is fitted with Traffic Master navigation. This is a GPS system with a monochrome screen about the size of a credit card, and I was doubtful as to its utility, being more used to the widescreen full colour Garmins we have been using (although with their terrible back up service the Garmins are being replaced with Tom Toms shortly). However in use the system seems to work as well as any other we have used, also it links to the Traffic Master system and routes you around traffic delays. It also gives me the ability to prepare routes online and send them to the satnav system, so I can reprogram a staff members destination on the fly. The system must also be the most polite navigation system on the market, it doesn't tell you to take an exit on the roundabout, it asks if you would "Please take the exit".
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Anyway, we have just acquired a Citroen Dispatch specifically for these smaller jobs. Its a little larger than a Connect, but smaller than a transit, and has 3 seats which is an added bonus. We haven't had the van long enough to make a decision on how reliable it is, but on our first trip to London and back it averaged 39 miles to the gallon, which is only about 6 MPG behind our Jag, and well in front of the Transits we use. The Dispatch is identical to the Peugeot Expert and Fiat Scudo, the only difference being the Dispatch is fitted with Traffic Master navigation. This is a GPS system with a monochrome screen about the size of a credit card, and I was doubtful as to its utility, being more used to the widescreen full colour Garmins we have been using (although with their terrible back up service the Garmins are being replaced with Tom Toms shortly). However in use the system seems to work as well as any other we have used, also it links to the Traffic Master system and routes you around traffic delays. It also gives me the ability to prepare routes online and send them to the satnav system, so I can reprogram a staff members destination on the fly. The system must also be the most polite navigation system on the market, it doesn't tell you to take an exit on the roundabout, it asks if you would "Please take the exit".
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We recently installed a bar at an event for a major motor industry manufacturer and a games console company. This was a pre paid job with us supplying a fixed package of drinks, including cocktails and one of our Jagermeister tap machines. The event went stormingly with everyone in fancy dress and the room buzzing. Sabine Schmitz (the German female racing driver who raced Jeremy Clarkson around the Nurburgring race track, with Jeremy in a Jaguar S type, and Sabine in a Transit Van, she lost by only 9 seconds. Ms Schmitz and a cohort of German friends managed to consume our stocks of Jagermeister, before moving onto frozen Margarita cocktails with an added shot of Vodka, something our cocktail mixologist insisted you couldn't do, but the Schmitz party proving you obviously could!
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Have a read of this amusing story posted on an Orange website . Quite amusing, right up until you read that the Pandas are being carried back to China by Fedex, poor bloody Pandas, if they are lucky they will turn up in Siberia, or Tanganyika, or any where but China, if they are unlucky they will never be seen again, and to add insult to injury, when the Chinese government ring Fedex to ask where they are, they will no doubt be informed by Fedex customer services that the address is wrong and the delivery driver can't find anywhere called China.
Read my last experience of Fedex here! An amusing little anecdote unless you are me, well guess what, I was stupid enough to use the same Australian printing company AGAIN, who used Fedex AGAIN, who have managed not to deliver my parcel 2 days in a row AGAIN, and who have informed me that its because I have supplied the wrong address AGAIN, thing is the address I have given them is the correct one AGAIN, the same one that is successfully delivered to by every other parcel company in the English speaking world, except for Securicor who employ the same morons that Fedex do.
On a lighter note, we are trialling the use of Skype on our mobile bars website to allow people to contact us free of charge using the Skype service. The intention is that if it is successful we will roll it out on the other websites in our portfolio, (take note Fedex, I assume you don't have access to mobile phones with which to ring and ask me for directions to my address, well now you can use either Skype, email or snail mail giving you 3 more opportunities to find out where I am located).
Clicking the button
should automatically send a call out from your Skype system to ours, assuming of course that you have Skype installed, and as long as amember of staff is available to answer it we will take your call. Obviously the button will need to read online to indicate that the service is available at that particular time.
Read my last experience of Fedex here! An amusing little anecdote unless you are me, well guess what, I was stupid enough to use the same Australian printing company AGAIN, who used Fedex AGAIN, who have managed not to deliver my parcel 2 days in a row AGAIN, and who have informed me that its because I have supplied the wrong address AGAIN, thing is the address I have given them is the correct one AGAIN, the same one that is successfully delivered to by every other parcel company in the English speaking world, except for Securicor who employ the same morons that Fedex do.
On a lighter note, we are trialling the use of Skype on our mobile bars website to allow people to contact us free of charge using the Skype service. The intention is that if it is successful we will roll it out on the other websites in our portfolio, (take note Fedex, I assume you don't have access to mobile phones with which to ring and ask me for directions to my address, well now you can use either Skype, email or snail mail giving you 3 more opportunities to find out where I am located).
Clicking the button
should automatically send a call out from your Skype system to ours, assuming of course that you have Skype installed, and as long as amember of staff is available to answer it we will take your call. Obviously the button will need to read online to indicate that the service is available at that particular time.
As January draws to a close, I've been looking at our sales leads. Last year we posted an incredible 209% increase in leads during January. My target this year was a modest 10% increase as I don't think it is possible to keep growing at the rate of 200% per year. As it turns out we have posted a 95% increase on last year, which equates to almost 500% up on the year before! Chocolate Experience has added some of the increase as last January we didn't own that business, but stripping that out we are still some 85% up on last year.
Everything is in place for the bar business, including a number of confirmed bookings for weddings. After looking into the market I noticed that there are plenty of bar companies offering complete packages for events with 100 plus guests, but very few catering for the smaller 30-40 guests event. We are quite happy providing services to events at both ends of the scale, and as a result have launched a new microBAR service offering draught, spirits, wines, alcopops and soft drinks on one of our Victorian style carts, or one of our new contemporary illuminated bars at a fixed price. Details are available at microBAR Package. This uses one of our new european designed integrated draught chiller/dispensers along with bar butlers to hold the optice and some mini wine coolers allowing us to provide everything in a much reduced footprint.
We also sold the square helter skelter just before Christmas. Unfortunately we had to borrow it back for the 4 days of Stockton Christmas festival and I ended up having to build it up and pull it down after I had thought I had seen the last of it. Whilst at Stockton, we received the snow ahead of the rest of the country, with an incredible amount falling within the space of a couple of hours. On the final day whilst taking the ride down, I discovered that the chutes contained a thick layer of ice, not good when you have to walk up them. I eventually used boiling water to pour onto the chutes and defrost them, this lasted around 5 minutes after which the water cooled down and refroze and we had to repeat the process.
Once we had the ride dismantled and taken back to a nearby yard for storage (as I didn't fancy driving it on the roads in blizzard conditions), all that remained was to wait for better weather and return the ride to its new owner. As it turned out that took nearly a month, as everytime the weather in Yorkshire was ok it was bad weather in the North East, and vice versa. Anyway the ride is now safely back at Rotherham and off my hands again.
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Everything is in place for the bar business, including a number of confirmed bookings for weddings. After looking into the market I noticed that there are plenty of bar companies offering complete packages for events with 100 plus guests, but very few catering for the smaller 30-40 guests event. We are quite happy providing services to events at both ends of the scale, and as a result have launched a new microBAR service offering draught, spirits, wines, alcopops and soft drinks on one of our Victorian style carts, or one of our new contemporary illuminated bars at a fixed price. Details are available at microBAR Package. This uses one of our new european designed integrated draught chiller/dispensers along with bar butlers to hold the optice and some mini wine coolers allowing us to provide everything in a much reduced footprint.
We also sold the square helter skelter just before Christmas. Unfortunately we had to borrow it back for the 4 days of Stockton Christmas festival and I ended up having to build it up and pull it down after I had thought I had seen the last of it. Whilst at Stockton, we received the snow ahead of the rest of the country, with an incredible amount falling within the space of a couple of hours. On the final day whilst taking the ride down, I discovered that the chutes contained a thick layer of ice, not good when you have to walk up them. I eventually used boiling water to pour onto the chutes and defrost them, this lasted around 5 minutes after which the water cooled down and refroze and we had to repeat the process.
Once we had the ride dismantled and taken back to a nearby yard for storage (as I didn't fancy driving it on the roads in blizzard conditions), all that remained was to wait for better weather and return the ride to its new owner. As it turned out that took nearly a month, as everytime the weather in Yorkshire was ok it was bad weather in the North East, and vice versa. Anyway the ride is now safely back at Rotherham and off my hands again.
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We tend to add additional lines to our portfolio in a number of different ways. Sometimes, as is the case with our new mobile bar service, our existing clients ask us for it, with others such as the milk shake cart I think it has some potential, buy the equipment and then set about winning work for it, and with the Chocolate Fountain company we acquired it was a mixture of luck, being in the right place at the right time, and the fact that someones wife had decided to have an affair causing her husband to sell us the business.
In addition to the aforementioned bar business we have just launched, we also added the option of a specialist JagerMeister bar. We have now added by demand a Baileys drinks fountain to our , and an Absinthe bar, simply because I like the ritual involved in preparing the drink.
For those who have yet to sample the delights of the Green Fairy, as Absinthe is commonly called, it is a herbal spirit, which according to popular legend was invented in Switzerland by Dr. Pierre Ordinaire for use as a medicinal remedy. A mistaken, although widespread belief that the drink had strong hallucinogenic properties led to it being banned in many countries in the early 1900's, although surprisingly Britain didn't ban it, making it one of the few occasions we were less stringent when applying bans than our Euro cousins.
In the early 1990's the drink made a comeback and the ban was gradually rescinded. The preparation of the drink is a ritual in itself. Absinthe can be anything up to about 89% proof, it is not intended to be drunk neat, (some people do drink it that way, but some people also drink meths or industrial alcohol), and needs to be diluted with water, not only to lower the alcohol percentage, but also because this releases different flavours and aromas which are otherwise locked into the neat liquid. To prepare it, a shot of Absinth is added to a glass, an Absinthe spoon is placed across the top of the glass, these are usually decorated spoons, which are perforated to allow liquid to drip through them, a sugar cube is placed on the spoon, and a small amount of iced water drizzled onto the cube, this is then left to dissolve and drip through to the Neat spirit. After this more iced water is slowly drizzled through the spoon and into the cup, the Absinthe is louched, which refers to a process where the clear green liquid is gradually turned into a paler, cloudy substance due to the various oils being released and mixed into the water. It is then drunk!
The weather here was just starting to thaw, when it started to snow again, not heavy but we have had about half an inch since tea time. Arthur hasn't experienced any of this yet due to the fact that he is sunning himself on a beach in Sharm El Sheikh, expect news of war breaking out in Egypt at any moment!
We have also just taken delivery of a batch of wedding chair covers we ordered from America. They were ordered on the 8th of January and we received them on the 13th, a mere 5 days from order to delivery. The same day we ordered them, I ordered some addiitonal equipment for our new bars, this was ordered from an English company, and we are still waiting for it.
On Monday I am due to collect our new bar sections, and a wine cooler allowing bottles of red and white wine to be kept at different temperatures in the same cabinet. We also took delivery of some heavy duty counter mounted corkscrews, you insert the bottle in the bottom, pull the handle and the cork is removed and ejected, if when first examining the mechanism you tip it upside down whilst your finger is inside, it neatly corkscrews through your hand as I found out a couple of days ago!
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In addition to the aforementioned bar business we have just launched, we also added the option of a specialist JagerMeister bar. We have now added by demand a Baileys drinks fountain to our , and an Absinthe bar, simply because I like the ritual involved in preparing the drink.
For those who have yet to sample the delights of the Green Fairy, as Absinthe is commonly called, it is a herbal spirit, which according to popular legend was invented in Switzerland by Dr. Pierre Ordinaire for use as a medicinal remedy. A mistaken, although widespread belief that the drink had strong hallucinogenic properties led to it being banned in many countries in the early 1900's, although surprisingly Britain didn't ban it, making it one of the few occasions we were less stringent when applying bans than our Euro cousins.
In the early 1990's the drink made a comeback and the ban was gradually rescinded. The preparation of the drink is a ritual in itself. Absinthe can be anything up to about 89% proof, it is not intended to be drunk neat, (some people do drink it that way, but some people also drink meths or industrial alcohol), and needs to be diluted with water, not only to lower the alcohol percentage, but also because this releases different flavours and aromas which are otherwise locked into the neat liquid. To prepare it, a shot of Absinth is added to a glass, an Absinthe spoon is placed across the top of the glass, these are usually decorated spoons, which are perforated to allow liquid to drip through them, a sugar cube is placed on the spoon, and a small amount of iced water drizzled onto the cube, this is then left to dissolve and drip through to the Neat spirit. After this more iced water is slowly drizzled through the spoon and into the cup, the Absinthe is louched, which refers to a process where the clear green liquid is gradually turned into a paler, cloudy substance due to the various oils being released and mixed into the water. It is then drunk!
The weather here was just starting to thaw, when it started to snow again, not heavy but we have had about half an inch since tea time. Arthur hasn't experienced any of this yet due to the fact that he is sunning himself on a beach in Sharm El Sheikh, expect news of war breaking out in Egypt at any moment!
We have also just taken delivery of a batch of wedding chair covers we ordered from America. They were ordered on the 8th of January and we received them on the 13th, a mere 5 days from order to delivery. The same day we ordered them, I ordered some addiitonal equipment for our new bars, this was ordered from an English company, and we are still waiting for it.
On Monday I am due to collect our new bar sections, and a wine cooler allowing bottles of red and white wine to be kept at different temperatures in the same cabinet. We also took delivery of some heavy duty counter mounted corkscrews, you insert the bottle in the bottom, pull the handle and the cork is removed and ejected, if when first examining the mechanism you tip it upside down whilst your finger is inside, it neatly corkscrews through your hand as I found out a couple of days ago!
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Well, this time last year saw a massive increase in inquiries for our services. Truth be told I was a little worried about this year as I felt sure things would start to slow down. However they have done just the opposite. Not only are the level of inquiries almost four fold up on last year, but we also have over four times as many booking confirmed for the coming season as we had at the END of January last year. Of course the Chocolate Experience business has helped boost the total, and as the mobile bar business picks up steam I hope that will make a similar contribution.
We have already added two new lines for the coming season, the first is a new pick and mix stand that offers twenty different sweets on the same display, and can carry upto sixty kilograms of confectionery. The other is a stand alone JagerMeister bar. For those who have never tried it, JagerMeister is a liqueur made from various herbs and barks giving a very dark almost licorice tasting drink. It is best served at minus fifteen degrees centigrade, to which end we have acquired JagerMeister Tap Machines for the perfect temperature control. The drink is also served in test tubes giving it another distinguishing feature and providing an interesting talking point at any event.
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We have already added two new lines for the coming season, the first is a new pick and mix stand that offers twenty different sweets on the same display, and can carry upto sixty kilograms of confectionery. The other is a stand alone JagerMeister bar. For those who have never tried it, JagerMeister is a liqueur made from various herbs and barks giving a very dark almost licorice tasting drink. It is best served at minus fifteen degrees centigrade, to which end we have acquired JagerMeister Tap Machines for the perfect temperature control. The drink is also served in test tubes giving it another distinguishing feature and providing an interesting talking point at any event.
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For the past 5 or 6 years I have used Windows Mobile smart phones. I was due to swap my phone in about a month ago and decided I was sick of the little quirks present in every Windows phone I have used, so following the mass hysteria generated by the Iphone I duly swapped allegiances. BIG mistake, I have been trying to use the phone for about a month and am now reduced to carrying 2 phones, one for making calls with and the other for sending emails, it turns out that the Orange Iphone is unable to reliably send emails from an Orange email account! So I have a very pretty but totally useful for business use phone. Orange technical support have tried a number of times to sort something out but can't, Apple support have had a couple of goes but can't, their latest suggestion was for me to take a morning off work, and drive 40 miles to my nearest Apple store to see if they are able to make it work, customer service per excellence. The frustrating thing is I am stuck with this bloody phone for 2 years now, I think my next stop will be trading standards as I don't think a modern smart phone that cannot send emails is fit for the purpose of which it was sold to me.
On a more upbeat note, we have finally come to the end of the ridiculous workload we had for December, and have a little more relaxed schedule for a few weeks. The Chocolate Experience business should benefit from additional SEO work, and our new mobile bar company Tempus Bars is now up and running, so that can have some serious SEO work applied.
Time for a rare relaxing evening in front of the TV, and some catching up of the various novels I am part way through reading.
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On a more upbeat note, we have finally come to the end of the ridiculous workload we had for December, and have a little more relaxed schedule for a few weeks. The Chocolate Experience business should benefit from additional SEO work, and our new mobile bar company Tempus Bars is now up and running, so that can have some serious SEO work applied.
Time for a rare relaxing evening in front of the TV, and some catching up of the various novels I am part way through reading.
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On our travels to various parts of this island fortress, we meet a weird and wonderful variety of people. This ranges from the incredibly interesting, to the mildly entertaining. Sometimes however we meet complete morons.
Last week in London (one of 4 days there in just over a week), we had directions to the loading bay of a venue. As is often the case, we approached from a different direction, and missed the entrance. When this happens I've found the best course of action is to park up, locate the entrance on foot and then return for the van. I found the loading bay entrance and noticed a security cabin at the side, so I walked in and asked the on duty guard if it was the correct bay, he proceeded to look about 3 feet to my left whilst talking to me, but he seemed to be responding to my questions so I assumed it was me he was talking to. I told him that I would be back in a couple of minutes with a white van, to which he nodded his assent.
As I drove into the entrance of the loading bay, he rushed out of his cabin and signalled to me to stop. He then demanded rather irately as to where do I think I was going? "To deliver to the hotel ", I replied,
"You cannot just drive in here like that", said mr security man,
"I didn't", I said, "I was in your cabin around 2 minutes ago and you told me to fetch my van in"
At this point I could see him concentrating really hard, obviously the synapses in his brain made some sort of connection because he nodded, his next outburst caught me a little off guard though, "You've stopped your van in the entrance, you can't stop there, you have all of the entrance blocked up", WTF, you signalled for me to stop you cretin, although I didn't actually use that term seeing as I was in quite a pleasant mood, "I only stopped there because you shouted stop", this time he was really struggling, obviously the communal brain cell was in the possession of another of his tribe on this particular night, "Well don't do it again" was his parting shot as he lumbered towards his cave!
Anyway the rest of the night was quite a success, with us presenting a range of items including one of our fully landscaped Scalextric tracks. This side of things seems to be picking up speed to the extent that we are investing in a host of new slot car racing products, and have launched a small website to cater for this market, this can be visited at Slot Car Party Hire
I also received my personal alcohol licence from Wakefield council this morning, so I am now authorised to dispense alcoholic beverages, or to authorise their sale. The new outside bar business should launch early in the new year.
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Last week in London (one of 4 days there in just over a week), we had directions to the loading bay of a venue. As is often the case, we approached from a different direction, and missed the entrance. When this happens I've found the best course of action is to park up, locate the entrance on foot and then return for the van. I found the loading bay entrance and noticed a security cabin at the side, so I walked in and asked the on duty guard if it was the correct bay, he proceeded to look about 3 feet to my left whilst talking to me, but he seemed to be responding to my questions so I assumed it was me he was talking to. I told him that I would be back in a couple of minutes with a white van, to which he nodded his assent.
As I drove into the entrance of the loading bay, he rushed out of his cabin and signalled to me to stop. He then demanded rather irately as to where do I think I was going? "To deliver to the hotel ", I replied,
"You cannot just drive in here like that", said mr security man,
"I didn't", I said, "I was in your cabin around 2 minutes ago and you told me to fetch my van in"
At this point I could see him concentrating really hard, obviously the synapses in his brain made some sort of connection because he nodded, his next outburst caught me a little off guard though, "You've stopped your van in the entrance, you can't stop there, you have all of the entrance blocked up", WTF, you signalled for me to stop you cretin, although I didn't actually use that term seeing as I was in quite a pleasant mood, "I only stopped there because you shouted stop", this time he was really struggling, obviously the communal brain cell was in the possession of another of his tribe on this particular night, "Well don't do it again" was his parting shot as he lumbered towards his cave!
Anyway the rest of the night was quite a success, with us presenting a range of items including one of our fully landscaped Scalextric tracks. This side of things seems to be picking up speed to the extent that we are investing in a host of new slot car racing products, and have launched a small website to cater for this market, this can be visited at Slot Car Party Hire
I also received my personal alcohol licence from Wakefield council this morning, so I am now authorised to dispense alcoholic beverages, or to authorise their sale. The new outside bar business should launch early in the new year.
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Our horror themed props, See HORROR THEMED PARTIES have come in handy with a number of halloween themed bookings. I am out to night in person with a horror themed candy floss cart dispensing green candy floss, so I will post some images here after the event.
I have also been roped in by my daughter to carve her pumpkin. Normally an aunt does it for her, but with her moving away its been left to me. I have to say that at 40 years of age, this is the first pumpkin I have carved, anyway an image of it is below;
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I have also been roped in by my daughter to carve her pumpkin. Normally an aunt does it for her, but with her moving away its been left to me. I have to say that at 40 years of age, this is the first pumpkin I have carved, anyway an image of it is below;
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World War 2 Themed Parties
As part of our ongoing launch of themed games units we have just launched our World War 2 themed party site. It can be found at WORLD WAR 2 PARTIES As well as a range of games units dressed up with World War 2 props and themed games, we also provide staff in military uniform, digital sound effects units providing a background ambience of dog fights, air raids, marching troops and some of the songs and music from the period.
Our chocolate fountain hire business is picking up speed steadily, we are finding that the chair cover hire side of the operation has more potential than we expected. So much so that we have now added candelabras, lighting and drapes, tea light holders, wishing wells and bay tree hire to the services offered. We will shortly be launching a new website dedicated purely to wedding room decor.
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We travel up and down the M1 motorway on an almost daily basis. For as long as I can remember, a large 15 mile section of it has been plauged by roadworks. Whenever we travel along that section I keep a keen eye out to see exactly what is being done. On the last 5 trips I didn't manage to spot a single person on the stretch, and put this down to the fact that the journeys were all early morning or late at night. Anyhow the other day I travelled the road in the middle of the morning, and guess what, I spotted people. 14 of them in total which equates to less then one worker per mile! Although I do use the word worker in the loosest sense of the word, as out of 14 people spotted, 4 of them were sat eating or drinking tea, 5 of them were sat reading newspapers, 2 of them were stretched out in the back of a minibus apparantly sleeping and the remaining 3 were walking, where to I know not, but judging by their fellow roadworkers I would say that they were either going to put the kettle on, or else to buy a newspaper.
I need to found out if the company contracted to carry the work out is paid by the day, if it is I intended to buy a large number of shares in the company as I cannot see them completeing the work in my lifetime and should imagine if they have a number of similar jobs on the go then they will be employed for life.
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I need to found out if the company contracted to carry the work out is paid by the day, if it is I intended to buy a large number of shares in the company as I cannot see them completeing the work in my lifetime and should imagine if they have a number of similar jobs on the go then they will be employed for life.
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Over the past month we have provided something like 8000 hot dogs to 3 corporate clients. The worst part of this job has been sourcing the bread rolls. The easiest thing to do would be order them from a bakery, but we have found that one of the major supermarket chains is half the price of the wholesale bakers, so logically we have been buying from them.
Unfortunately the said supermarket chain has a bug in their checkout system which means that they cannot input multiple purchases of bread, each individual packet has to be scanned in, or as is more usually the case, a single packet is scanned however many hundred times needed to input the order. The upshot of this is that when I appear in the supermarket the checkout girls begin to say their prayers in the hope that I won't choose their aisle.
Whenever I chance upon a new checkout girl she usually wastes 15 minutes attempting to discover a method of typing in more than one packet, but eventually she will give up like all the rest and accept the inevitable!
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Unfortunately the said supermarket chain has a bug in their checkout system which means that they cannot input multiple purchases of bread, each individual packet has to be scanned in, or as is more usually the case, a single packet is scanned however many hundred times needed to input the order. The upshot of this is that when I appear in the supermarket the checkout girls begin to say their prayers in the hope that I won't choose their aisle.
Whenever I chance upon a new checkout girl she usually wastes 15 minutes attempting to discover a method of typing in more than one packet, but eventually she will give up like all the rest and accept the inevitable!
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