Over the festive period we acquired an Ipad 2. Now I played with it briefly and found it to be like all the other Apple products I have ever used, impressive as hell for 15 minutes until you realise its all smoke and mirrors.
I wanted to transfer some images from a laptop to the Ipad so I plugger the latter into the former. Every other piece of electronic equipment on the planet with an inbuilt memory allows you to plug them into a Windows laptop and then cut and paste from one to the other, not Apple products, seems I have to download and install Apple bloody Itunes just to copy a single image from said laptop to the Ipad.
It got me pondering, I wonder what a car designed and manufactured by Apple would be like. Undoubtedly it would look like an Aston Martin only much, much sexier. It would have a build quality second to none, and the design would be a mix of cutting edge and class. It wouldn't have a boot (or trunk as our American cousins say), because if it did then people might put something non approved by Apple in it, and the bonnet (hood) would be securely fastened down to prevent you from tinkering with anything under it.
The filler cap for the fuel would be a strange shape that wouldn't allow you to use standard fuel pumps at standard filling stations, you would of course need to visit an Apple approved garage to have an Apple approved attendant fill your Apple car with special Apple approved fuel. The electrical system would be 17 and a half volts because Apple wouldn't want to use 12 or 24 volts, they were designed by some non Apple person, although battery failure wouldn't be a problem, it would be non replacable, and you would have to return the car to an Apple approved service centre where it would be replaced (you would also need to give them a credit card covering the £150,000 cost of a new Apple car in case the failure was your fault). The light bulbs would need to be purchased from an Apple approved source and any non approved light bulbs would refuse to work and the car console display would inform you that they were not authorised to be used.
Moving to the interior, it would be acres of classy wood, leather and aluminium. Driving would be simple, as you would have 2 gears, forward and reverse (anything more would be considered too complex for users), and speed would be limited to what Apple feel is appropriate for you. The radio would be something truly beautiful. Stylish, modern, state of the art, permanently tuned to Radio Apple. A cassette deck or cd player wouldn't be allowed in case you felt the urge to play music not downloaded via Itunes.
The pedals would take a little getting used to as the standard layout of left to right, clutch, brake, throttle isn't an original Apple design and would need to be altered to reflect the Apple design ethos. You would have to be careful when steering it, holding the wheel a certain way (the so called grip of death) would result in the wheels losing contact with the road, but Apple would fix this by giving you a free pair of gloves that stopped this happening.
You would never worry about being lost as the car would report your every move to Apple so someone would always know where you were and where you had been.
Selling it would be a mess on though as the new owner would need to have the ignition system reactivated by Apple, its current activation would only be valid with the original owner.
All in all I can't wait.
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